I'm having one of those really depressing times in my life, which really sucks because I should be happy.
Everything is in turmoil around me, everyone is annoying me, and I just want to escape. I'd like to crawl in a hole. Notice I didn't say crawl in a hole and die, just crawl in a hole.
I want to be settling down and being able to focus on the baby but it's not happening. So other than a few hours in childbirth class, this kid is getting no attention.
My synagogue is falling apart. I can be a part of the salvation efforts but it requires energy I don't really have.
My dear friends left town for a better job and I miss them terribly.
I can't figure out what to do about Grad School. If I stay in full time, I'll be demented and crazy not to mention a bad mother. If I go part time I'll be killed by the really hard courses online AND demented, crazy and a bad mother. And I can't even get them to talk to me about a deferment.
My house feels like its falling apart. If you've been reading awhile you may wonder how the heck that can be with all the repairs. (Did I mention the plumber was here yesterday fixing the toilet?) But there is always something that needs fixing. (Like the kitchen floor still not being done...)
The house is so cluttered and no matter how much I shovel I don't seem to hit the bottom. And the kids aren't helping. (I know I'm deluded in thinking that they would/could.)
My decision making ability is falling quickly. I think it's a pregnancy thing. I can't even decide where to eat out for lunch when going out with friends. The thought of having to make a decision, even of this magnitude is overwhelming. I want to burst into tears when asked for a date, even for a prenatal visit because I can't even think. So imagine trying to coordinate the back to school physicals, eye exams, dental exams, etc.
I'm overwhelmed and sinking quickly. Now where was that hole?